Anal Sex
Why -Define - Pain - Pleasure - Needs - Condom - Mess - Prepare - Position - Pregnant - What Ifs
For many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo. Butt fucking
makes it sound crude and dirty, sodomy sounds technical.
But some people love anal sex. Others
hate it. Others haven't tried it yet and are curious. And many people are
attracted to it precisely because it's so taboo and mysterious.
One other part of the body that some people enjoy licking, or having licked, is the anus. The anus has half the nerve endings in the pelvic region and many people find touching it to be sexually arousing. Although we haven't mentioned safer sex yet as part of this series, we will here: the anus and rectum carry many diseases that live quite benignly in your lower digestive tract, but which can be harmful in your mouth or stomach. Performing analingus is a very risky behavior for a variety of bacterial infections. Refer to the section on safer sex techniques for ways to protect yourself if you or your partner enjoys this activity.
Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. With enough lubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. However, some people may never like it, and if your lover is one of those people, respect their limits. Don't force the idea upon them.
The pleasure of anal sex is derived from many things. Doing something "nasty" appeals to many people, especially about sex. Doing something different to spice up a sex life that has become something of a bore can be part of it. And the physical sensations available during anal sex are uniquely different from anything else. The rectum is lined with nerve endings, some of which signal the brain to 'reward' you with good feelings when stimulated. For men, the prostate gland can be a source of powerful pleasure. And for a thrusting penis, the ring of the anus can be a new and strong sensation to enjoy.
The most important pieces of advice anyone can give on anal
sex are: lubricants, condoms, and patience. The most commonly available
lubricant is KY-Jelly, a greaseless, odorless substance available at most drug
stores. Better lubricants include Astroglide, ID, Wet, or Foreplay, some of
which are available at better drug stores, and most of which are available in
some form at adult toy stores.
Do not buy anything that is
oil-based. Make sure the lubricant you buy is rated "condom
compatible." Nothing else will do. Oil- based lubricants such as Vaseline
or baby oil will destroy a condom long before you're done having sex. And many
oil-based sub- stances will coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven for
many potential infections.
Even if you're sure that both you and your partner are disease- free, you should still use a condom. The rectum is home to lots of infectious bacteria that can cause burning and urethritis of the penis. It will also help you clean up afterwards.
Anal sex should not be messy. Most first-timers fear that it will be, but most people can tell when they have to go. A condom will help with cleanup, of course, and if you're really concerned, a commercial enema, like Fleet, will help beforehand.
Patience is the third and final thing you need to make anal
sex possible. Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of anal
sex-- the anus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the rectum designed to
control the elimination of bodily waste. It is partially under voluntary
control, and partially reflexive to stimulation. Your partner has to relax, and
you have to go slow to coax it into opening enough to receive your penis.
Start with a well-lubricated finger or a
slim (smaller than your penis) dildo. The dildo is more realistic, but your
fingers can flex and feel what they're doing inside her ass. Slide one finger in
slowly, letting her adjust to it. Take your finger all the way out, then push it
back in again. Give her anus time to get used to this kind of activity. Then
slide a second finger in. Consider how big your penis is and realize that two
fingers is probably enough.
For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important.
Many women want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Other
like to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated while
lying on their sides. Choose what's best before you start.
As always, control yourself. Take your
time and use lots of lubricant. People who like anal sex say that "too much
lube is almost enough." Listen to her-- if she tells you it starts to hurt,
back off.
Eventually, a time will come during your
lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your cock to
'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feel completely
painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason to start pounding away
like mad. Let her body adjust. Take your time. Eventually you will both be ready
for more.
It is not technically possible to get pregnant from
anal sex; there is no way for semen to get from the rectal tract to the vaginal
tract.
However, anal sex is still not a very
good method of birth control. Semen leaking from the anus after intercourse may
drip across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulva and anus)
and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception. The failure rate for this is
surprisingly high! 8% of couples of who use anal sex as a method of birth
control have babies each year.
You may find that anal sex just isn't for you. That's fine. Nothing says that you have to indulge in something that doesn't make you feel good.
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