Oral Sex for Women
Cunnilingus Defined -Tutorial - Positioning - Tongue Techniques - Speed - Taste - menstruation
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with
your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and
dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will
appreciate you all the more for it.
What applies to the penis applies to the
vulva-- every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner
happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can
deliver to a happy vagina.
This article assumes that you know what
a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia
majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to
name them (approximately) from top to bottom.
This tutorial will take you through the art of cunnilingus from start to finish. What I’m hoping to do is to give you information that will improve your oral sex techniques, give you some new ideas or confirm what you already know. Keep in mind that these are my personal opinions and things that work for me. I personally love nothing more than having someone lapping at my pussy, teasing and taunting and finally bringing me to orgasm.
I personally like to be touched and teased and warmed up before my partner just
latches on to my clitoris and starts mauling it to death. That can be a real
shock to the system and cause your partner to throw you across the room even
though you had the best of intentions.
A good way to get started is to start by kissing your partner. Remember the day
when you were only dating and that’s all you did was sit and neck? Why not
revisit those memories? It’s a great way to start the sexual juices flowing.
While you and your partner are exchanging all these wonderful kisses run your
hands over your partners body skimming across all her erogenous zones, arousing
her body.
Gradually move your fingers to run over the inside of her thighs and then brush lightly over her pubic mound making sure not to touch the clitoris or the inner labia. This is a good time to start working your way down over her breasts and stomach heading towards her most private areas. Now how long you want to tease is entirely up to you, although if you make her wait for too long you might find that her hands come up and grab you by the ears and push your face deep into her pussy. That would be a good indication that she wants you to step up the pace a little.
I can’t stress enough that there is no right or wrong way to provide your partner with good cunnilingus. It will vary from woman to woman on what they enjoy and how much pressure they like. The best bet is to start by communicating to find out what she likes and then as you try different techniques or strokes to make a note of which ones make her moan or get a reaction good or bad. From there you can then refine and improve your technique
You can experiment with different positions to find what works best for you. The ones that come to mind that have worked well for my partner and I are as follows:
Lying flat – in this instance you can have your partner lie on the bed on her back with her knees slightly bent and spread as wide apart as is comfortable for her. You can then lie between her legs and slide your arms under each of her legs (kind of like a hug) and that will position your head appropriately.
Edge – in this instance you can have your partner slide down the edge of the bed and lean back, perhaps propped up on pillows in a semi-sitting position. You would then kneel on the floor in front of her and start working your magic on her.
69 – in this instance you and your partner can either lie facing one another or have the man on top or the woman on top. The drawback to this position is that it’s easy enough to forget what you’re supposed to be doing if your partner is also working on you. The one I like best is when I get to be on top and can grind my pussy into my partner’s face. However please note that in this position you will get quite wet!
Note
to the ladies: It is worth your while to do your Kegels. This exercise will help
you to increase the strength of your pubococcygeus (PC) muscles that form
the pelvic floor between the legs. The toning of these muscles which contract
during orgasm, helps a lot of women to climax more easily.
To do the exercise simply tighten up your muscles as if you were going to stop
the flow of urine. Hold in that position for about 3 seconds, then relax for 3
seconds and repeat. You can gradually build up the number of repetitions you do.
Now we’ll
discuss some of the different tongue techniques you can use on your partner. For
this section I’ve done some research and compiled suggestions from people I
know as to what works and why. I can only provide insight from the receiving
point of because to date I haven’t been on the giving end of cunnilingus.
One of the
key points here is to remember to make sure that the clitoris and the vulva are
sufficiently lubricated before you start touching them. With the tongue this is
pretty easily accomplished. If you need to, gather up a little bit of spit in
your mouth and gently drop it down onto your partner’s sensitive area. I have
found that the heat from the saliva dropping onto my clitoris and vulva to be
very erotic.
You can create a wide variety of strokes and responses just by altering the manner in which you use your tongue. It’s a most versatile tool and it’s totally free! You couldn’t ask for more.
I’m not
going to go into elaborate detail here and suggest that if you fold your tongue
around a certain way to stimulate your partner it will have the desired effect.
I’m going to give you some more general ideas with which you can then
experiment with and find what works best for you and your partner.
You don’t
want to head straight for the clitoris with your tongue; your best bet is to
start by licking around the area. Stick your tongue between the folds of the
labia and lick. Start at the perineum (found just below the vaginal opening) and
lick upward in one long stroke. Much like a cat does when cleaning itself. Now
you can either do one of two things, lick so that your tongue comes up and
brushes over the clitoris or stop just short of it. Either way I’m sure that
your partner will start to squirm.
Another
stroke that you can use when you’ve teased her sufficiently is to lap at the
clitoris with a pointed tongue – much like a cat lapping at milk would do.
This is a stroke that can be used when she’s very close to orgasm to push her
over the edge. You can speed up the rate of the lapping or slow it down, or
combine slow and fast in any rhythm of your choosing. Just remember to listen to
your partner’s responses so that you know whether she’s enjoying the
sensations or you’re totally pissing her off.
If you’re
feeling adventuresome then there are a couple of other things that you can try
if you are so inclined. One of them is to try dipping your tongue into your
partner’s vaginal opening. You can vary the depth of the thrusts and the
speed.
The other thing you can do is to put your fingers to
good use. My recommendation would be to use the fingers once you know she’s
fully excited and you can sometimes tell this by the way her hips are bucking up
and trying to push hard against your face.
I know that I sure like the feeling of having the fingers of my
partner’s fingers thrusting in and out of my pussy while he is sucking on my
clit at the same time. It’s a most wonderful feeling and makes me cum very
quickly.
Another good
place to use your fingers while sucking and licking your partner’s pussy would
be to lubricate them and gently rub around the opening to the anus. There are a
lot of nerve endings there and many women enjoy that type of stimulation. If
your partner is into it you may even be able to insert the tip of your finger
into the anus. If your partner is not one who enjoys this type of stimulation
then stop if she requests you to.
Some women will be quite happy to stop at one orgasm, while others will want as many as you can give them. It has been my experience that successive orgasms require a little more aggressive touch and stimulation. I have also found that there comes a point when the clitoris is so over stimulated that you might feel like you can possibly have another orgasm or that the clitoris is just too sensitive to touch. If your partner is finding that her clitoris is too sensitive she will be sure to let you know that in no uncertain terms!
That’s the basics to the art of cunnilingus. If you’d like to contribute suggestions or ideas please feel free to do so. They will be added to the bottom of this tutorial as they are received
This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a
fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too
sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing
her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some
women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly
what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned.
Some women may like additional
stimulation-- a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may
want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your
fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more
directly.
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to
wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a
good, if acquired, taste.
As a woman nears her climax, she may
want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most
effective at causing climax-- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take
your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.
Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods alleviate cramps.
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