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Ok, she didn't look like Dana Delaney, Dana Plato, or any Dana's that you could remember. She was a little heftier than she mentioned, and she was late. No need to slip away to the bathroom and disappear. Even the worst date has at least one or two redeeming values. The closer you look at her you will see the tongue ring. Ok, then you look into her eyes and see a spark, or a wicked smile. Something. Ok, you're striking out completely in the looks department. Maybe, the story on how she got lost sounds likes an 'I Love Lucy' show. As she tells you this saga, you notice that she has the same bent sense of humor that you do. In my experience, I have always found at least one clicking point with a date and me, and if not, then it's fodder for my funny rants.
I have to explain this one? Love feels great, but as we ALL know it hurts just the same. So before you hand her your heart and your keys to your BMW, make sure that it’s a goer. Your heart is your responsibility. Take a condom, and Protect Your Heart.
People at times have a tendency to rush into things. A relationship, sex, marriage (Don't get me started...), etc. Relax and enjoy yourself. I remember before I got married, I wanted to be married, and there were many times when I was married, that I wished I wasn't, or I missed the "old days." My point is enjoying whatever point you are at. Evaluate each situation, and know when to continue to a relationship, and know when to readjust it. Men have a strange gift of "Duty." "We'll stay together for (the kids/the holidays/tax breaks)," if it’s over, it’s over. If you're unsure about marrying someone, Postpone, Cancel, etc. "Yes, but (her parents will kill me/the invitations are sent/the chapel has been paid for/she's pregnant)," there is no reason to marry into a situation that will not work. If you have problems before, THEY WILL NOT GO AWAY if you get married. If you get your girlfriend pregnant, marrying her if you don't get along won't make the child any happier. Child support every month will. Enough said about that. Now, onto the subject of sex. Apart from Aids, Sex should be dealt with care. A one-night stand is a one-night stand, and I don't want angry women slashing your tires at 2:00 in the morning. Be Up Front, and let them know that's what it is. If they are cool with it, then rock on, but you certainly don't know the personality of a person who's half-drunk at a party. I say wait a few dates to get to know them, but of course, we all know that people don't take my advice all the time. Just look out, okay?
I talked about the trap of duty before, and I've discussed confidence in other areas here, but I just want to drive it home. Be your own best friend. Try not to tattoo the name of a girl you met two days ago on your arm. If a marriage/relationship falls apart, don't beat yourself up over it. Go easy on yourself. You have to live with yourself forever, she doesn't. You know your limitations, your faults, etc. Be objective, and try to look at all sides.
When you are in a dating relationship, and the subject of what kind of person the other likes, you may have the inclination to become that kind of person that they will like, or on the other hand. If you and your date are fighting, and you can't agree, you might feel that you have to agree with her on all subjects. Wrong on both counts. Wrong. She likes you because you are you, because you are different. An argument sets boundaries, and reveals moral boundaries about someone. If the guy caves in at every argumentative turn, she will drop you. If she wanted to date someone just like her, she would stay by herself. You are you, and she may not agree with you, and she will get upset with you, but she will see things from another perspective, and have great arguing stories to tell her friends.
I don't care what anyone says, they do.
So, you've taken my advice, and you know the dating relationship is going nowhere. What do you do? Hope it will get better? No. Be Honest. If you feel like it’s going nowhere, say something and get it out in the open. "But she'll be hurt and slash my tires or something." Probably not. She will more than likely, feels the same way, and doesn't want to break the bad news. Early pain is better than 2 years of slow death for the both of you.
I'm not really talking about sex, but sure, that's in there, too. I'm talking about interests or hobbies. If she's into horseback riding or something. Listen to her, and learn something about it. You like hiking. She could learn from you about your interests. Everyone can teach everybody else something. I believe that. Ok, always have a Kama Sutra book handy, too.
Don't ever put a potential date in a "blonde-haired blue-eyed" mold. Expand your horizons! Older women, Asian women, single mothers, women that work for "Hot Dog on a Stick." Try them all! Not just huge breasts either. You'll let those tall women slip through the cracks.
So, you’re striking out and watching every Ed Powers video twice. Don't despair, repair. Think about why things went wrong, and make adjustments. Get a better haircut, lose some weight, iron your clothes. Bettering yourself is better for your next victim. Try to meet new women at a different spot. Use these times to make changes, and change your habits and approaches to things.
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